Happy New Year, everyone!
In anticipation of a brand-new year, I like to choose an intention word to help me navigate it. Last year’s word was “create”, which was very near and dear to my heart. (It was also very easy to integrate into daily life!)
This year, I’m opting for a word that is a bit more challenging to integrate, in my view: Authenticity.
One of the things that initially drew me to authenticity was this idea of having a consistent, authentic voice across all aspects of life: from work to home, from family to strangers.
Trying to maintain different versions of yourself creates hidden tension and exhaustion. Showing up authentically creates a sense of harmony, balance, and alignment.
Perhaps the concept of authenticity is obvious to some, but to me, it’s always felt a bit vague. I know it’s important, but what exactly does authenticity look like at work? How do you show up authentically in a relationship? Where does authenticity end, and healthy conformity begin?
After all, we have societal norms, expectations, rules, and regulations to acknowledge and (theoretically) operate within. There are times when we need to put our best foot forward. Sometimes, we need to come off as polite, polished, and well-practiced to get where we’re going. Frequently, we find ourselves needing to take care of business while foregoing some of the things we love most.
So authenticity must have some nuance. Let’s explore it!
What is authenticity?
Authenticity comes straight from you: the version of you that exists on its own, free from outside influences*.
It’s a quality embodying the ability to know yourself and your core values, and to be able to act in concert with them. It requires integrity, sincerity, and consistency.
*I was about to write “uninfluenced by external factors”, but we are all influenced by our environments and experiences to some extent, and some of those experiences eventually come to a settling point in our inner workings. The neural pathways are set. This is in contrast to present day outside influences. Disclaimer: not a scientist, not a psychologist!
One thing that authenticity is not: An excuse for rigidity and unwillingness to listen, learn, or compromise. This just stifles our growth!
It’s important to hold space for new ideas, new values, and new belief systems to emerge. In fact, authenticity is a willingness to acknowledge where your knowledge is limited, and a willingness to expand it.
Three pillars to cultivating authenticity
[UPDATE: I completely missed the key to cultivating authenticity when I first wrote this post! Once you’ve perused this section, head to this article and we’ll fill in the gap.]
I like this three-pillar approach to cultivating authenticity:
- Self-awareness
- Genuine self-expression
- Alignment of actions with values
Essentially, once you know what is authentic to you, you can express it. If you can express it, you can act in alignment with it.
Let’s take a look at each of these in action.
1. Building self-awareness to connect with our core values
Before we can embrace authenticity in our daily lives, we need to understand what is authentic to us. That requires spending some time getting to know ourselves. Through this process, you discover or re-affirm all the things that make you… You!
Knowing and understanding your core values is “core” to this exercise. It’s also essential to spend some time with all the other things that contribute to your you-ness. If you need some ideas:
- Have you tried the enneagram or other similar tests? (Any other INFPs out there?)
- Try listing all the things that bring you joy, big and small.
- What are your favourite ways to spend a day off?
It sounds simple, but you’d be surprised how many of us can’t name our favourite food, let alone our favourite down-time activity. We haven’t given ourselves a chance to think about it. We may not have even given ourselves the chance to just enjoy things.
That’s why we start with knowing ourselves. It’s hard to be authentic if we aren’t sure what is truly authentic to us in the first place!
Creativity and authenticity go hand-in-hand. I love to encourage finding time and making space for a creative practice to develop self-awareness. Creativity is like a direct line to your heart.
Journaling, following your curiosity, and unstructured play time are all wonderful ways to cultivate this self-awareness. Over time, you’ll start to notice the patterns and preferences that shape how you view and interact with the world.
The more time you give yourself for introspective activities, the more structure and confidence you build around your “self”. The more of this that you build, the more natural it will be to show up authentically day-to-day.
2. Practicing genuine self-expression to stay in tune with yourself
Once you know it, you can communicate it. Genuine self-expression is essentially taking what you found in there, and expressing it out here.
It’s not actively divulging everything about yourself and all of your opinions, all the time. It’s about being in tune with yourself and communicating naturally from that place.
In the beginning, it’s actually more about resisting the urge to express things that are not true to you.
Does it sound obvious? Tell me you haven’t ever been caught in a people-pleasing typhoon that left you feeling completely burned out. Or that you’ve never gone along with an idea just to keep the peace, even though it didn’t feel right. Genuine self-expression can be hard to do!
Not all self-expression needs to be outward bound, though. Genuine self-expression in your favourite medium and in private is at the heart of a creative practice. It fosters a stronger inner knowing and sense of self. It’s from there that your authentic experience radiates out into the world as you interact with it, naturally.
If you’ve given yourself the chance to work with your uncensored self and understand it, then when you are out there interacting with the world:
- You’ll know very quickly what resonates with you and what doesn’t, what you’re into and what you’re not, how you want to spend your resources, etc.
- You’ll be able to communicate this fluently.
- It’ll be easier to play within societal norms, workplace expectations, and the like.
So long as you aren’t having to diverge too far from your values, if you’ve given yourself the time and space for genuine self-expression, then you can find harmony in any environment without losing yourself in it.
3. Aligning your actions with your values
We can’t be all talk, can we? Cultivating authenticity requires authentic action. Authenticity is the guiding force that aligns your actions, big or small, with your values.
That means we’re walking the walk.
Authentic action could include “big stuff” like a grand gesture, a big move, or a change of career. It could also be made up of small but impactful actions: calling a friend just because you were thinking of them, asking to try a new type of project at work, or deciding to learn about something you’re interested in after hours.
It could also be setting and following through with healthy boundaries. You can decline the invitation to a wine tasting if you don’t enjoy drinking. You can hide your phone away because you want to be more present during family time.
Simple, right?
Well hold on, let me overthink that. 🙂
It’s not always clear exactly how to show up authentically when we’re faced with conflicting values or competing demands. I explore those grey areas in this follow-up post: Where Authenticity Gets Tricky: Exploring the Grey Areas
Parting words
There’s a big, underlying intention to all of this talk of authenticity. I believe everyone has a little magic inside — something wonderful and unique to share with the world.
We can’t see it when we’re busy pretending to be anything other than our authentic selves.
We’re exhausted, and we feel burdened. We’re disconnected from each other, and from ourselves. We feel this need to show up as someone other than ourselves to feel worthy.
But if we could know ourselves — if we could lead authentic lives and inspire others to do the same — what sort of magic could we unearth together?
If you’ve made it this far, a genuine thank you for exploring authenticity with me!
Tell me, what does authenticity mean to you?
By the way, I write a monthly letter to help you stay connected to your most authentic, creative self! Subscribe to the Debit This, Create That newsletter for creative kindling, direct to your inbox.
