Happy New Year, everyone!
In anticipation of a brand new year, I like to choose an intention word to help me navigate the year to come. Last year’s word was “create”, which was very near and dear to my heart. (It was also very easy to integrate into daily life!)
This year I’m opting for a word that is a bit more challenging to integrate, in my view: Authenticity.
One of the things that initially drew me to authenticity was this idea of having a consistent, authentic voice across all aspects of life: from work to home, from family to strangers. There’s hidden tension and exhaustion created by trying to maintain different versions of yourself. If you can show up authentically, you can create a sense of harmony, balance, and alignment.
Perhaps the concept of “authenticity” is obvious to some, but to me it’s always felt a bit vague. I know it’s important, but what exactly does “authenticity” look like at work? How do you build “authenticity” in a relationship? Where does authenticity end, and healthy conformity begin?
After all, we have societal norms, expectations, rules and regulations to acknowledge and (theoretically) operate within. There are times when we need to put our “best foot forward”. Sometimes, we need to come off as polite, polished and well-practiced to get where we’re going. Frequently we find ourselves needing to take care of business while foregoing some of the things we love most.
So “authenticity” must have some nuance. Want to explore that with me?
Let’s go!
What is “Authenticity”?
To me, authenticity comes straight from you – the version of you that exists on its own, free from outside influences*. It’s a quality embodying the ability to know yourself and your core values, and to be able to act in concert with them. It requires integrity, sincerity, and consistency.
*I was about to write “uninfluenced by external factors”, but we are all influenced by our environments and experiences to some extent, and some of those experiences eventually come to a settling point in our inner workings. The neural pathways are set, as it were. This is in contrast to present day outside influences. Disclaimer: not a scientist, not a psychologist.
One thing that authenticity is not: An excuse for rigidity and unwillingness to listen, learn, or compromise. We don’t want to be stifling our growth! It’s important to hold space for new ideas, new values, and new belief systems to emerge. In fact, authenticity is a willingness to acknowledge where your knowledge is limited, and a willingness to learn.
Cultivating Authenticity
[UPDATE: I completely missed the key to cultivating authenticity when I first wrote this post! Once you’ve perused this section, head to this article where I fill in the gap!]
I like this three-pillar approach to cultivating authenticity:
- Self awareness
- Genuine self-expression
- Alignment of actions with values
Essentially, once you know what is authentic to you, you can express it. If you can express it, you can act in alignment with it. Let’s take a look at each of these in action.
1. Self Awareness
Before we can embrace authenticity in our day-to-day dealings, we need to understand what is authentic to us. That requires spending some time getting to know ourselves. Through this process you can discover or re-affirm all of the things that make you… You!
Knowing and understanding your core values is “core” to this exercise. It’s also important to spend some time with all of the other things that contribute to your you-ness. If you need some ideas:
- Have you tried the enneagram or other similar tests? (Any other INFPs out there?)
- Try listing the things that bring you joy, big and small.
- What are your favourite ways to spend a day off?
It sounds simple, but if you’re someone who’s been leading a hectic lifestyle for a long time, you may not be able to name your favourite down-time activity, let alone your favourite food, because you haven’t had a chance to think about it (or dare I say, just enjoy things). That’s why we start with knowing ourselves. It’s hard to be authentic if we aren’t sure what is truly authentic to us in the first place!
Creativity and authenticity go hand-in-hand. I love to encourage finding time and making space for a creative practice to develop self-awareness.
Journaling, following your curiosity, and unstructured play time are all wonderful ways to cultivate this self-awareness. Over time, you’ll start to notice the patterns and preferences that shape how you view and interact with the world. The more time you give yourself for introspective activities, the more structure and confidence you build around your “self”. The more of this that you build, the more natural it will be to show up authentically day-to-day.
2. Genuine Self-Expression
Once you know it, you can communicate it! Genuine self-expression is essentially taking what you found in there, and expressing it out here. This doesn’t have to be about actively divulging everything about yourself and all of your opinions all of the time. It’s more about being in tune with yourself and communicating naturally from that place.
In the beginning, it’s actually more about not expressing things that aren’t true to you.
Does it sound obvious? Tell me you haven’t ever been caught in a people-pleasing typhoon that left you feeling completely burned out. Or that you’ve never went along with an idea just to keep the peace, even though it didn’t feel right. Genuine self-expression can be hard to do!
Not all self-expression needs to be outward bound, though. Genuine self-expression in your favourite medium and in private is at the heart of a creative practice! It fosters a stronger inner knowing and sense of self. It’s from there that your authentic experience radiates out into the world as you interact with it, naturally.
If you’ve given yourself the chance to really work with your uncensored self and understand it, then when you are out there interacting with the world:
- You’ll know very quickly what resonates with you and what doesn’t, what you’re into and what you’re not, how you want to spend your resources, etc.
- You’ll be able to communicate this fluently.
- It will be easier to play within societal norms, workplace expectations, and the like. So long as you aren’t having to diverge too far from your values, if you’ve given yourself the time and space for genuine self expression, then you can find harmony in whichever environment you’re in without “losing yourself” in it.
3. Alignment of Actions With Values
We can’t be all talk, can we? Cultivating authenticity requires authentic action. Authenticity is the guiding force that aligns your actions, big or small, with your values. That means we’re walking the walk!
Authentic action could include “big stuff” like a grand gesture, a big move, or a change of career. It could also be made up of smaller but impactful actions, like calling a friend just because you were thinking of them, asking if you could try a new type of project at the office, or deciding to learn about something you’re interested in after hours.
It could also be setting and following through with boundaries. You can decline the invitation to a wine tasting if you don’t enjoy drinking. You can hide your phone away because you want to be more present during family time.
Simple, right?
Well hold on, let me overthink that. 🙂
It’s not always clear exactly how to show up authentically when we’re faced with conflicting values or competing demands. I thought it might be helpful to explore some of these grey areas and how to approach them.
Where Authenticity Gets Tricky: The “Grey Areas”
Is it just me who thinks that sometimes authenticity is a bit…Tricky? Maybe it’s my accountant’s mind, but I keep looking for the “rules of authenticity”, and I can’t find them. I think it’s because authenticity isn’t a black-and-white concept, and there’s some nuance to it.
For example, does living authentically mean I should be avoiding anything I perceive to be uncomfortable? When I make stuff, should I be making it just how I like it, or can I be authentic while still creating for an audience? How do I show up authentically at work if I don’t feel passionate about my job?
Let’s get into it!
Authenticity Versus My Comfort Zone
Say I know what I like, what stresses me out, and where my comfort zone is. Does living authentically mean staying within my comfort zone?
Logically I think we know the answer is no, we should be stepping outside our comfort zones sometimes. If that’s true, then how do we invite discomfort while maintaining our authenticity?
The answer lies in the intention.
We have to remember that much of authenticity circles back to our core values. Sometimes the action that is most in alignment with our core values is not the most comfortable one.
Say maintaining strong relationships is really important to you. Life is busy and it’s really tough to get out, especially for introverts in need of a recharge after a long day of work! While it might feel truest to you to decline an invitation out in favour of staying home and enjoying some quiet, your core value surrounding relationships will occasionally haul you out of the house anyways, and that’s authentic as well. It’s value you place on your relationships that pushes you intentionally out of your comfort zone.
We need a work example – let’s pick overtime. Busy season is upon us accountants soon, and most of us are dreading the extra hours right about now. Work-life balance is important to me – is my most authentic move to refuse to do the required overtime? Not if career progression, teamwork and comradery, or financial security are of great importance. In that case, the most authentic move is probably to hunker down and do the overtime, but I need to reframe it as an opportunity, a blip in the year, or a chance to really get to know your coworkers. 🙂
Where it becomes inauthentic in both of these examples is if you start constantly ignoring your need to rest or recharge. To live authentically requires knowing the appropriate balance for you, and then maintaining it.
Authenticity and the Audience
Authenticity and creativity go hand in hand, but the line can become murky once you introduce an audience. Many creative entrepreneurs run into this issue of wanting to create what they want to create in their authentic voice. They don’t want to have to change it for others. On the business side though, they know that they need a market for what they’re creating. They have to consider the opinions of the people who will make up that market.
The way I see it, there are a couple of options if you are looking to connect with an audience:
- Continue to make what you want to make, just because you want to make it. Trust that the right people will find your stuff, deeply appreciate it, and form your unique niche.
- Learn about your target audience and consider what they really need or care about. Then continue creating, but with those things in mind.
Part of my mind is yelling defiantly at me for point two there, but hear me out! Authenticity is not “all-or-nothing”, as we’ve demonstrated. There’s space to be authentic in your creations while producing something that you think your audience will like. The authenticity still comes through:
- In the sincerity of your offering as you make what you’re making
- Through your unique solution to the audience’s key problem
- Through the voice that you use, figurative or literal
- In your genuine intention to connect with your audience
The authenticity is coming from a more fundamental level, which is why core values are so closely tied to authenticity.
Authenticity in the Workplace
Here’s another tricky one! Not all of us are in a position where we love every aspect of our jobs. How many budding bean counters felt pressure to express their passion for numbers in the interview process? Sometimes, a job just has to be a job.
So how can we bring authenticity to the workplace in that case?
We stay authentic by paying attention to how and why we show up. If we can acknowledge where our core values are in alignment with what we do, we can reframe it. We also look for opportunities to integrate more of our core values, plus our unique interests and talents, into the work that we do.
- How we show up: Some of us are incredibly ambitious and career-driven. If that’s you, I think late nights and difficult assignments are par for the course! If you’re showing up authentically then those things will come naturally. Of course, not all of us feel that way. We can get swept up in it and present ourselves as ambitious overtime-crushing go-getters anyways. If that’s not you, that’s okay! The workplace needs you too. You can still show up authentically and do a great job while keeping healthy boundaries in line with your values. They simply may not be the same boundaries as the people that truly enjoy crushing overtime. (Ah comparison, the thief of joy.)
- What we do: Even if we aren’t totally enamoured with our jobs, I’ll bet there is some aspect of the work you enjoy. Maybe you really like analytical work. Perhaps you love writing. You might even have a passion for mentorship. Can you can add a bit of that in your current breadth of work? If so, how much more of it can you bring in? Leaning into our unique interests and talents can create a more authentic experience at work. As an example, I do enjoy writing and mentorship. I was able to find work that involves a lot of report writing, and administrative roles in training and mentorship! Leaning into these areas has helped me feel more authentic during the workday.
- All the rest: How about participation? Whether it’s meetings or water cooler chats, authenticity at work means sharing your ideas, asking your questions, asking for help, and as cliche as it sounds, finding opportunities to just be yourself. Who’s to say you won’t find a new hiking buddy or gardening enthusiast to connect with?
(I took a deeper dive into authenticity in the workplace, check it out!)
Parting Words
There’s a big, underlying intention to all of this talk of authenticity. I believe everyone has a little magic inside – something wonderful and unique to share with the world. We can’t see it when we’re busy pretending to be anything other than our authentic selves.
We’re exhausted and we feel burdened. We’re disconnected from each other, and from ourselves. On the surface it seems that this need to show up as someone other than ourselves is a huge contributor. But if we could know ourselves, if we could lead authentic lives and inspire others to do the same, what sort of magic could we unearth?
If you’ve made it this far, a genuine thank you for exploring authenticity with me!
Tell me, what does authenticity mean to you?
