How do you find work-life balance that works for you? In this post, we’re taking a six-step introspective journey to find that balance!
But first, if you’ve not already, you might wish to visit this foundational post: How to Find Your Unique Work-Life Balance. It takes a high-level approach to balance by incorporating autonomy, accomplishment, and authenticity week-to-week.
The keyword is unique because it all starts with “u” (LOL sorry, I couldn’t resist). We’re circling back on this concept of knowing yourself and living authentically because it is so fundamental to making lasting, impactful change throughout all areas of your life, and this is no exception.
The first three steps essentially walk you through understanding yourself. You’ll determine:
- What matters to you and what helps you feel “in balance”
- How much autonomy you need and of what kind; and
- What helps you feel fulfilled.
The last three steps are about executing on these discoveries. You have a vision for what your work-life balance might look like, but how do you act on it? What practical things can you do to start living it?
This is an iterative process. It will develop and build upon itself, and it will change and grow with you.
Grab a journal and a beverage – let’s get into it!
1. Explore and get curious.
First, we’re looking for opportunities for balance, and then we’re testing them out to see what we really need.
Evaluate your current circumstances and where you feel out of balance:
- What do you feel you’re doing too much of?
- What do you wish you could do more of?
- What’s frustrating you?
- What are you excited for?
These are your goal posts on either end of the field. They tell you what you need to move away from, and what you need to move toward.
Once you understand what it is that you need, lean into it. Do you need 9 hours of sleep to function? Then you need to work within those parameters to feel balanced. What else do you need? Experiment!
We don’t need to set off on a huge self-discovery project (unless you want to). That might be a bit overwhelming. You’re already living your life, right? All you need to do is notice what’s going on in your life as it is: what works for you and what doesn’t.
Grab your bullet journal and take notes. Set a check-in reminder on your phone, or leave your journal out and open to remind you to quickly jot how you felt today and what contributed to that feeling.
As an example, I was struggling with feeling tired a lot, but sleeping more didn’t seem to help. One day I noticed how a good workout in the morning gave me energy for the rest of the day into the evening and helped me have a deep, restful sleep. So building on that, I found that I didn’t really need more sleep – I needed a proper exercise routine throughout the week to keep my energy up.
(It was only after this that I learned about the 7 types of rest, which would have been a great shortcut!)
Maybe you need a certain diet, or to see a close friend at least once per week, or at least half an hour per day working on a hobby – it’s all about noticing, trying things, documenting results, and noticing again.
2. Cultivate authenticity.
If we can be authentic in our daily lives, then we can:
- Develop a sense of self separate from work, if this has been a challenge. (It frequently is when we’re feeling out of balance).
- Get a sense of direction in terms of what we need to prioritize both at work and outside of work.
I’m an accountant, and while I can work with the numbers, I really love working with the humans. Although I can work from home, I make sure that I’m getting enough time in-office with said humans! I also find other opportunities to connect (getting involved in mentorship, for example).
Off-duty, I like to think about connecting with others through art, and of course I write to you on my blog. 🙂
Prioritizing connection is authentic to me, and honouring this helps keep me in balance.
This post about Embracing Authenticity in Your Daily Life can help you start cultivating all that is authentically you. I also wrote a Deep Dive into Authenticity in the Workplace that provides insight as to what it looks like to show up as you at work.
This process of cultivating authenticity also helps to bring deeper context and significance to the discoveries you made while noticing what’s going on in your daily life.
3. Find your “Why”.
I know, I know, this advice is everywhere! But really explore it: dig deep into what motivates you and get clear on what you envision for your life.
We need to deeply understand our motivations in order to cultivate our sense of purpose, and that purpose then informs our direction in everything we do on either side of 5pm.
Viewing your work in the context of your purpose may very well help you feel more fulfilled (or at very least, at peace) with your time spent there.
Finding your “why” for the stuff you do outside of work will help you prioritize those activities and hold firmer boundaries for them. This will help you protect that delicate balance more consistently.
The “why” is the glue that makes the small changes stick and the catalyst to fulfillment.
If all of this seems too daunting, how about starting with a word of intention?
4. Design your ideal day-to-day.
Now we know what works for us and what doesn’t. We know who we are and what motivates us. With all of that in mind, you can start to play with tools like mind maps or digital calendars to sketch out your ideal day-to-days (or week-to-weeks)!
So, what needs to go in there to help you feel balanced?
This is more ideation than it is a concrete plan. It’s pretty tough to make a lot of changes to your daily and weekly routines all at once! Instead, the goal is to explore what is possible in a more tangible way than we’ve done so far.
A couple of roadblocks that may arise and how to work with them:
Okay, I want to quit my job and read books all day. I hear you, and here are a couple questions you can try.
Question 1: Why?
Is it the pull of the books that you want to move toward, or the push of your job that’s making you want to leave?
Question 2: Is this a real possibility? Or do you need the financial comfort of a steady day job?
If so, you may decide that attending a tolerable 9-to-5 really is part of your ideal lifestyle, as long as everything else is in balance.
What if you aspire to become a professional book reviewer? There’s an exciting opportunity here! You can make a practical runway plan for your eventual escape from the concrete jungle to pursue your dream job!
I don’t have enough time to fit everything in that I need to feel balanced. This is also so very relatable!
Rather than trying to fit everything in, what if we just took one small step in the right direction?
Can you get creative with it?
Say you want to paint every day but you just can’t fit it in. What if you left all of your painting supplies out, and you could do a few minutes here and there? Or, can you schedule dedicated hours for painting twice a week? Maybe you can’t afford to meditate for an hour a day. Could you do a walking meditation for ten minutes per day instead?
The question isn’t “what do I need to feel balanced” at this point – it’s what will help bring you closer to balance?
If the job is seriously throwing a wrench into your balance, can you rework your budget so that you can afford to reduce your hours? Do you need to find a new job? Do you need to plan out a runway so that you can change industries altogether?
Even if your ideal day is not achievable today, dream up what it could be. Then you have either a goal that you can start taking practical steps toward, or a “default” setting that can give you a roadmap back to balance when you start to veer off course.
5. Create healthy boundaries.
It’s important to enforce boundaries while you’re making changes to your daily life. Why? It’s hard to resist falling back into old routines! It’s harder still to diverge from the “status quo”, if that’s what your balance calls for.
The post Find Time and Create Space is geared towards creativity, but applies to anything else you need to find time and make space for.
Boundaries can be as simple as resting when you’re sick, or committing to shutting down your laptop at 5pm.
They can also be honouring the you-time that you blocked off on your calendar on the weekend, or following through with the other commitments you’ve made to yourself (eg. I have promised myself I will improve my sleep hygiene).
This also means being realistic and honest so that you are not over-committing yourself. It’s not just the hours in a day and the days in a week that constrain us. It’s your own ebbing and flowing energy levels!
(In case you needed the reminder: you are not a robot.)
Finally, there will be some interpersonal boundaries to maintain (especially for you people-pleasers out there).
Say your work-life balance plan means you will work less, and this is fine with your employer. Just because you have been “approved” doesn’t mean everyone will understand it or appreciate it. If you were the type to jump at the opportunity to work overtime, some people will probably scratch their heads or feel disappointed that your priorities have changed. That’s okay! The boundary is that you don’t internalize other people’s opinions.
6. Start living on your terms.
That’s it! Take responsibility over your sense of balance. Understand that the feeling of balance will come and go, but if you generally feel balanced, that’s a win!
When you start to feel imbalanced, pay attention. Let it guide you to a shift you need to make in that season. There will be periods where certain aspects of work or life are more demanding. In that time, you may just need to be extra kind to yourself while you wade through those temporary tumults. If the imbalance is carrying on and on, walk through the steps again!
Do you go through busy work seasons? Check out The Busy Season Survival Guide for tips on how to navigate them and minimize burnout.
This is where calendar blocking and habit trackers can be effective. Armed with a deeper understanding of yourself and what balance looks like for you, start using these practical tools to get you going and keep you feeling balanced. They’ll be effective because you’ve done the work (rather than prescriptively copying someone else’s standard of balance).
Remember though, it’s an iterative and ever-changing process – we don’t stay the same, and our sense of balance doesn’t either.
It all starts with you.
We really slip out of balance when when we’re constantly giving our energy out without intentionally saving some for ourselves. This could look like a constant need to be “on”, or defaulting to people-pleasing. The more that you’re focused externally, the more you’re at the mercy of external factors outside of your control!
When you start living for everyone else except yourself, you’re all but guaranteed to feel out of balance.
A strong sense of self is the foundation upon which we can make confident decisions about what we need in our daily and weekly lives. This is when you can start being selective! What type of employer, working environment and salary do you want? How much downtime do you need, and what do you want to do with that downtime?
The goal is to determine holistically what you need to feel that you’ve achieved work-life balance.
So, what does work-life balance look like for you? Whatever it looks like now, know that it will shift, and that’s a good thing! That’s growth.
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