It’s no secret that workplace culture is shifting in a major way, and as I’ve been exploring authenticity throughout the first half of this year, I couldn’t help but expand it to the employee experience once again. (I touched on it briefly in my original New Year’s post on cultivating authenticity – check the bottom of that post for quick thoughts on showing up authentically.)
We all want to lead authentic lives, and the workplace makes up a formidable chunk of said lives!
Of course, the very nature of employment requires that we act in a prescribed manner determined by our employers (where and when to work, what tools to use, what to wear, how to communicate, etc.), which is partly why it’s so difficult to navigate authenticity in this space. Workplace culture inadvertently (or not) encourages us to default to do what everyone else is doing, wear what they’re wearing, show up in the same ways, and share the same opinions.
A little bit of this is good! After all, we want to work as a somewhat cohesive unit, project a brand image, and so-on. The issue is when this inclination filters out of workplace standards and into; well, the rest of us. This is when we start to feel inauthentic at work, and this is exhausting.
The logical conclusion is that we must continue to look for an employer who is so similar to us that the way they want things done basically requires us to be our wonderful authentic selves anyways.
Easier said than done!
So let’s say you want to start feeling authentic now, right where you are. Where do we start?
First, an important distinction: what authenticity is not
Authenticity is not doing whatever we want, whenever we want. It’s not full-on self-expression at any moment without regard for those around us. It’s not about breaking dress codes, and its not necessarily about being selective about the jobs we do, either.
Showing up authentically is very much an internal process. Meaning, it’s not all about how we relate to others – it’s more about how we relate to ourselves.
We can do jobs we dislike and remain authentic.
We can also relate to others as part of a work culture, without losing our own sense of identity.
I used the examples of work hours, dress codes, and job procedures not because adhering to them automatically makes you inauthentic, but because these factors make it easier to slip into a mindset that challenges you to stand in your authenticity.
These things all help us work as a cohesive team of employees, which is totally fine. But without appropriate boundaries, these become stepping stones over a pool of other unintentional aspects of work culture that do not belong to us, but we can inadvertently adopt. For example, we can adopt the collective’s definition of success and forget our own, or the kind of car we think we should be driving instead of what we actually want or need, or how much of our personal lives to give up in favour of work, and so-on.
There are all sorts of people out there, and we need all of them. We can’t all be CEOs, for example, but we may look up to our CEO and emulate them because we’ve decided that this is what success looks like. Within the context of your company, it is! That CEO may have worked tirelessly with intensity for years to get to their position, and naturally we try to match that level of intensity in our own work. That behaviour is then rewarded, especially by the CEO, because you are clearly cut from the same cloth, and they can see it – you will be a success at this company (according to their own definition).
If you really aspire to be a CEO, perfect – you’re on the right track, and you’re putting in the necessary work! But what if what you really want is to clock in, do good work, clock out, and save some energy for oh, I don’t know, a creative project or two after hours?
Back to basics
Now that we know showing up authentically is an internal process, we can get back to basics and (if we have not already), cultivate it!
We start by figuring out what is authentic to us, and what is not. If you’re looking for guidance on cultivating authenticity and living authentically, I’ve written a fair bit about this topic lately, so as a refresher:
- I like this “3 Pillar Approach” to cultivating authenticity,
- But don’t forget the self-love part!
- You can use a creative practice to find what is authentic to you, and
- While you’re creating, work with your fear, rather than against it.
- Start reimagining your daily life your way, by making choices that work for you outside of your creative practice.
These practices help us to know ourselves very well, and to start to feel confident in making choices that align with who we are, what we value, and what we believe in. This is an excellent basis from which we can branch out and start playing with the grey areas, not the least of which is that subtle boundary between being our authentic selves and working for somebody else.
A lot of it is perspective
I’m not convinced there is “one perfect job” out there that is truly and wholly authentic to you since by its very nature, a job requires you to work for or with someone else who is… well, not you! Even as an entrepreneur, you’re walking the line between doing what you want and doing what your clients or customers want.
That being said, there are some roles and environments that will feel either more or less challenging to be authentic in. I think it’s important to acknowledge this, because we don’t want to fall into the trap of thinking that the problem is always you. Sometimes there’s just too much misalignment between you and the environment that it’s not worth reconciling to make it work.
Let’s assume we can make it work, though. Once you’re familiar with your own authenticity, you start to get some clarity about what feels off, neutral, and good at work. So, notice it.
Easy, right?
Then you can contemplate how those aspects of the job affect your daily life:
- For the stuff that is off, how off is it – a minor annoyance, or a major source of stress?
- For the stuff that is good, is it just moderately pleasant, or is it amazing?
- What would you say the percentage of off versus neutral versus good stuff is on a given week?
- How about for a given month or year?
Believe it or not, I think just knowing these things and putting them into perspective for yourself is half the battle. It keeps us grounded and connected to our personal likes and dislikes at work. It also prevents us from aimlessly doing what we’re told, pretending to be excited for work we don’t enjoy, accepting too much work that doesn’t help meet our unique goals for ourselves in our careers, and so-on. It even helps us create some space between ourselves and the work we do (especially the aspects we don’t enjoy), rather than allowing ourselves to identify too deeply with it.
Speaking of being excited for work we don’t enjoy: Years ago in accounting land, CPA Canada introduced various streams of work one could enter into at a training office, and “audit” was the thing to do. Everyone wanted to be in “audit” stream, so much so that one might even take offense if they did not enter “audit” stream. Somehow everyone knew this without having actually tried the work before – it was a shared perception that the “audit” stream was elite, it was the path to success in public accounting. The reality was, being in “audit” stream or not wasn’t even merit based, it was just another type of work. A select few did love it and found success in it, but many slugged through it and then never want to see it again. I’m happy to report that these days, new accountants are more frequently evaluating what they want out of their careers and can find a stream that suits them. It also happens I see far fewer audit-stream accountants these days… No offense to my auditor friends, of course! Thank you for doing what you do, so that I don’t have to. 😉 (I’m aging myself, but in my day I had no choice, and as it turns out… I am not an auditor!)
It also becomes a tool for change, if change is warranted.
Maybe, if you have the ability, you can try to decrease the amount of stuff you do that feels off, and increase the amount of stuff you do that feels good. Maybe not, and that’s okay, too.
We can’t always find a perfect balance. Most of us will always have parts of the work week that don’t feel great, but at least we know that about ourselves. Authenticity can be confidently saying “bleh, I don’t enjoy this”, but doing it anyways. Authenticity is doing the best you reasonably can, without feeling the need to pretend that you love it and want to do more, and without sacrificing your values and priorities.
I want to add from personal experience, sometimes perspective can help you keep going on things that do feel “bleh” for the greater good. During accountants’ busy season for example, we give up a lot of our hobbies, exercise, and family time to work. I don’t love it, but I know it’s temporary, so I pace myself and I make sure not to do it year-round. There are enough great aspects about my work that make it worthwhile to plough through tax season each year.
You can see that much of the sense of belonging and the ease with which you can operate authentically is tied to how well you know yourself, and what your perspective is on your job, your employer, the industry you work in, and so-on, in relation to you.
Gratitude helps, but it must come from the right place
“You should be thankful to have a job,” they say. Honestly, this rings true to me in some ways, but I have one major issue with it: the “should”. Nobody gets to tell you how to feel about your job!
This phrase is well-meaning because yes, a good perspective to have is gratitude toward your employment which supports you in a stable and fundamental way, but that gratitude needs to come from you, genuinely.
Much in the same way that it’s not always deep enough to say “I want to do yoga to have a healthy body”, it’s not always deep enough to say “I want to work this job to earn a paycheque”, to really feel grateful for the opportunity to do it.
To earn your gratitude, I think that job needs to net positive on the authentic living front. Perhaps a deeper why and little reconciliation will help!
Reconciling the paradox of authenticity and working for others
I mentioned the “Deeper Why” post because in talking about perspective, I’m also talking about knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing.
The default mindset that fills us with dread: I have to show up at a certain time to do work I don’t care about in the way that someone else decided after attending meetings that feel pointless, and then I go home and try to recover so I can get up and do it again the next morning. Repeat five times in a row on a weekly basis.
Yikes.
I wouldn’t try to strong-arm yourself into loving a job starting from this viewpoint. That would not be very self-loving – we are perfectly within our right to feel put off by this! But if you want to try to reconcile your authenticity and your employment, give these prompts a shot.
We are thinking first about what is authentic to us, and then seeing how those things might come through for us in our workplaces:
- What do you value, or what is fundamentally important to you?
- What are some basic elements you want reflected in your lifestyle?
- How do you like to operate?
- What are your beliefs on money and the material?
- Is there anything you feel strongly you want to do, be, or create in the world?
These questions help to refresh our self-awareness. Once we start to see what we really want for ourselves, we can then examine them within the context of our workplace experiences and reconcile accordingly. That is, we can piece together how aspects of our jobs either support, hinder, or are neutral toward a lifestyle that is authentic to us.
See if you can find some alignment between aspects of your job, and things that are authentic to you.
Here’s an example – say you’re a person who really values their independence, right now that’s at the forefront of your authentic living priority list. Maybe we can shift the default narrative to a more meaningful one by addressing these:
- There are different types of independence. Do you feel your job gives you financial independence?
- Can you find opportunities for autonomy in decision-making on the job?
- Are there projects or tasks you get to do on your own?
- Is your employer open to your ideas when you propose them?
- Are you in a position of leadership?
- Do you have flexible hours?
In doing this exercise, you might decide your current place of employment really does not afford you the independence that you value. Or, you might be okay with it because it gives you just enough independence that you aren’t going nuts, but also gives you other things you value (such as a predictable paycheck, the ability to go on vacation when you want to, or the funding to support your hobbies).
Then it becomes your decision to keep at it, since you can see exactly how the job fits into your preferred lifestyle or deeper goals.
It might also help to consider the alternative. Someone who values independence might thrive as an entrepreneur, but entrepreneurship might take away that cash flow predictability and make it really difficult to “turn off” at the end of the day (or at the start of a vacation), so with that independence comes some tethers to the work. Whether or not one is worth it to you over the other depends on what all of the other authentic bits of you have to say about it.
Maybe you value family time, or your creative expression outside of work, or advocacy for a certain cause, in which case you need either a job that allows you to embrace those things at work, or one that supports you well enough that you can explore them after hours.
Defining success
We talked a bit about how we show up, what we do, and all the rest at the bottom of this post from the beginning of the year. We talked perspective and emulating the success of others above. Now we need to look at defining success for ourselves.
For some of us, this is really difficult to do. Let’s not forget, a lot of people entered their careers for no other reason than someone told them they should, so they didn’t really have their own vision for what success in their career would look like. Someone in that position would probably continue to allow others to define what success on that path should look like through mentorship, encouragement along a particular path, or just simple emulation of their bosses.
If that is you, it’s time for a shift in thinking!
You can admire the executive team and dream of joining them. You can also admire the executive team while being perfectly content without joining them. You can feel successful at any given level if whatever you are doing is supporting you in your authentic vision for your life, and you don’t always need to be at the top of the ladder to realize that vision! Success is a very personal thing.
Once you have your own vision of success, it serves as a guiding principle for your decision-making throughout your career. As long as you really believe in it (and that is the hard part, especially when your vision of success is different from the majority), you’ll be acting authentically.
So, what’s your ideal lifestyle like? What kind of job might support it or satisfy it? What does “success” look like to you – is it the view from the C-Suite, is it running with your own ideas, is it participating in a team you love, or is it being able to shut it down with energy to spare at the end of the day? What about the job you have now – what would you tweak?
Parting words (and a shit sandwich to go)
I just had to tag this onto the end of a very long post. I believe this idea also came from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic (which I can’t seem to stop referencing on the blog, a highly recommended read at this point): which flavour of shit sandwich do you want to eat? Because everything comes with a shit sandwich. You just have to decide for yourself which one you’re willing to consume. Do not let anyone else feed it to you.
If you let someone tell you which sandwich you should be eating, it will very likely make you sick.
If you confidently walk forward and select the sandwich that you know you can keep down, then you become the master of your own destiny.
I think that is how we reconcile authentic living and employment. Know yourself, honour what you find in there and make decisions that align with it, and then pick from the lovely and infinite selection of shit sandwiches available to you. If you pick the right one, the payoff may be so palatable that you won’t even realize what you’re eating.
Bon appétit!
