Creativity, Lost and Found: My Story (and Signs it’s Time to Reconnect With Yours)

To express our creativity is such a simple and natural thing, isn’t it? Yet as our lives fill up with other things, our creativity is often the first to fall away. 

Quietly, our unique connection with our world and our deep connection with ourselves falls away with it. 

Whether you’re feeling disconnected, uninspired, or you simply can’t remember the last time you made something just for you, here’s your sign: It’s time to reconnect with your creativity. 

By all means, stop reading and start creating – make it big and bold, or make it small and inconsequential, because all it takes is one little creative act to start the process of reconnection.

If you’re craving a little introspection before you get started though, read on!

How We Veer Off the Creative Course Without Knowing It 

Any number of things can cause us to lose touch with our creative sides, but the pervasive, underlying issue is this notion that creativity is not valuable unless it’s profitable. Even if we don’t logically agree with this, we can unconsciously hold this belief. That belief is frequently reinforced by our environments and the people in them, usually unintentionally.

The corporate world is the perfect environment to perpetuate this issue. The more of yourself you can give to your career, the better off you are. This is not just in sheer working hours or social events, but in brain capacity! Career becomes a huge part of our lives, by design. We need the motivation to do well and to be ambitious so that we (and our organization) can grow. So our careers go beyond paying our bills by satisfying our craving for connection (making your colleagues like family) and validation (praise, promotion, awards, and raises for a job well done). 

I’m not against any of this. Done right, such a career can be really fulfilling and rewarding! But I do caution that we need to be aware of the influence it has on our lives. Otherwise, we may not recognize the signs that we’ve poured too much from our own cup.

When we’re feeling ambitious and connected to our careers, we want to devote more time and energy to them. That time and energy spent feels productive and important. But where does it leave our personal endeavours? Our passion projects? Our balance?

We start losing our creativity when we make choices that align with the devaluation of it.

In the context of our careers, we start to view creative self-expression as a frivolous form of self-care (and we simply don’t have time for it). Perpetuating this cycle is the fact that we don’t receive the same reinforcing validation for our creative work as we do for our career work. This, too, is by design. The magic of creative self-expression is that it’s for us, not for the validation of others.

I don’t think the system is broken, but I do think we need to be aware of our bias that favours work-work over creative work (unconscious or otherwise). 

In this post I want to share a bit of my story, including three challenges to keeping in touch with our creativity:

1. The “all-or-nothing” approach to career
2. Fear in the face of creative freedom 
3. Misplaced creative energy

Then we’ll get into some signs it’s time to reconnect with your creativity, and how to do it (especially while maintaining your 9-to-5).

The All-or-Nothing Approach and an Unintended Consequence of Putting Creativity on “Pause”

We’re naturally in touch with our creative sides when we’re younger, and I think it’s easy to assume that we’ll always be that way. It’s a part of you, so how could you “lose” it?

I don’t think you truly lose it, but you do get used to ignoring it.

When I finally decided to get serious about a career in accounting, immediately I thought the smart thing to do was to release all of my creative projects. (Frivolous self-care, right?) Because accounting was a practical choice (and not a talent), I knew the road ahead would require all of my energy and effort to become academically attractive enough to land myself a job. Then I’d have to be decent enough to keep said job while continuing to study for my accounting designation. 

So I chose an all-or-nothing approach: I traded in my novels for textbooks, packed away my paint brushes, said goodbye to my garage band, and extinguished any other extraneous projects. 

It “worked” – I got the job, and then the designation. That was a six-year long journey from decision to designation, though. After all of those years with a singular focus, it’s really common to feel a bit lost after designating.

It was from within that blank space that I could hear my creative voice again. “Great! Now it’s my turn to live my best life.” 

Where do we go from here?

Fear of Ambiguity in the Face of Creative Freedom

The thing with creative freedom is that it can feel really ambiguous, and ambiguity is frightening. It’s hard going from a regimented routine and a well-defined career path to suddenly having to pave your own way and to define your own success. 

It requires you to find your intrinsic value. Your intrinsic value is inherent in all that you are, not built on grades or accolades, salaries or promotions.

I definitely felt the fear (although I didn’t realize it at the time). I knew I had to do something creative, though! After I designated, I wanted to try something completely new, so I learned how to play the violin. It was wonderfully satisfying and challenging, and I do love learning. But I still had that drive to create, and the language of music was still too foreign to me to act on that drive. 

My next instinct was to exercise my creativity in a space that was familiar and safe: my career! 

It was only a few months before I found myself trading in my music sheets for spreadsheets in pursuit of another professional designation. This time, it would be different! This time I was studying to become a business valuator, which is a relatively creative field in the realm of accounting and finance. 

Would it satisfy the creative itch, though?

Well-Meaning but Misplaced Creativity

Do you enjoy thinking “outside the box”? Are you always full of ideas? Amazing. Creativity can be a huge asset in your career! 

An honest question, though: how much of your creativity is really for sale?

My new designation did not disappoint on the creative thinking front. I ended up following that drive to create by trying to build a great body of work. I continued working hard at my professional development, which kept me learning and creating on the job. It was really engaging stuff! I loved my new specialty (and still do).

What I didn’t realize was that while creative work is fantastic, it’s not the same as having freedom of creative self-expression. Being so career-focused, I was still ignoring that curious, playful voice that longed to be expressed fully. (Later – we’re building something here!)

Creative Deficit: Signs That it’s Time to Reconnect

I think you already know the signs – that’s probably why you’re here! But allow me to validate your experience.

If you ignore that creative voice long enough, it will quietly slink away to give you some space. It’s still there, waiting to reconnect with you, though! The problem is that we forget to check in. 

Here’s your opportunity: If any of these resonate, it’s definitely time to reconnect with your creativity.

1. You have restless energy that you wish you could pour into something meaningful. 
2. You feel as though something is missing, but you can’t put your finger on what.
3. You’ve got that groundhog day feeling, you’re running on auto-pilot, your days lack punctuation, and you lack motivation.

That’s your creativity knocking, and you just need to open the door.

Oh, one more thing to watch for:

Burnout.

Burnout (and her sisters, stress and anxiety) could be a sign that you need to make a big change to your environment, routine, or mental health. We don’t necessarily burn out because we’re missing our creativity, but a creative practice can certainly help you recover from burnout. 

As it happens, I recently went to a beginner’s watercolour class. The class was small, but almost everyone in attendance was there because they were experiencing corporate burnout and needed to do something creative just for them. Creativity, and especially art, can be very healing!

How to Start Reclaiming Your Creativity

Start noticing subtle shifts, pangs, ideas, and curiosities. Notice what brought you here! 

You might need some time and space to really notice, and that’s fair. It’s probably not a type of introspection we’re used to. In fact, it wasn’t until my first maternity leave that I really noticed how ungrounded and restless I felt! I needed that shake-up to realize how much I missed expressing my creativity. 

On maternity leave, I could steal time to reconnect while my kids were sleeping. So I started painting, because it was so familiar. I picked up various other new hobbies. I worked through Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way and wrote morning pages. 

While working, you could absolutely do these things in little bits at a time if you were motivated, but I think it’s harder to do without the “shake-up”, being the time and space away from work and the change in life’s priorities. 

If I wanted to reclaim my creativity while working at my career, here’s what I would do:

1. Reframe Your Relationship With the Workplace

For so many of us, our careers displace our creativity. In my case, I accidentally started trying to use my career as a creative medium, which was constricting and frustrating. (I wrote more about this feeling of pent-up creative energy in this post about the Inner Border Collie). 

If you are noticing that you’re excessively people-pleasing, or if you have some intense perfectionistic tendencies at work, it helps to try to release that. Here’s why:

1. If you’re people-pleasing, then you may be so invested in making sure everyone else is happy that you forget to check in with yourself and what you want. Being too outwardly focused makes it difficult to reconnect with your creativity. That reconnection has to come from inside.

2. If you’re a perfectionist, then it’s hard to connect with creativity because creative expression it is by its very nature an imperfect practice. If you feel the need to control the outcome by setting high standards for yourself, the connection is stifled.  

If you can let both of these go then you can turn inward, prioritize yourself a little bit, and experiment. You’ll find time and make space for your creativity. You can break the old narrative that time spent being creative is not valuable. (And by the way, if you need reassurance that a creative practice is a valuable use of your time, read about The Reciprocal Relationship Between Creativity and Career.)

Essentially, you need to take a balanced approach to your work life and creative life, as opposed to “all-or-nothing”.

2. Pick Something Small and Achievable to Start

It really doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s:

1. Something you know you love OR you are curious about, and 
2. Just for you.

I love projects. It’s easy to want to come up with a big, important one and dive into it. If it’s too big though, it can be really intimidating to start (especially if you aren’t already in the habit of maintaining a creative practice). It’s better to start small so that you will… start.

The whole point is to show yourself that you can be creative. Yes, even if you’re just doodling! (Not to mention, that doodle might lead to another, which if you doodled five minutes a day, over time, might lead to a style, or another medium, or…). The best way to do this is in a pressure-free environment. 

This can be a tricky dance. Earlier in the post we talked about our tendency to devalue our creativity. What if, in an effort to reconnect, you put too much importance on it? Then your perfectionism kicks in, and you become paralyzed. 

So the key then is to keep it achievable (I said doodle, not life-sized photorealism), keep it meaningful (what have you always wanted to try?), and keep it low-stakes (do not plan to post it on the internet or sell it on Etsy).

When I was just starting to reconnect with my creativity, I kept it simple at first. I told myself that all I was going to do was pick up a paintbrush and lay down some colour. I hadn’t painted in years, so this was easy and accessible. It wasn’t long before it inspired me to do more!

3. Enjoying the Process By Refining Your Definition of Value

Especially if you’re coming out of corporate burnout looking to reconnect with your creativity, I’m sure you could use a little reconsideration of what “value” is.

I said earlier on that we tend to believe creativity is not valuable unless it’s profitable. That is one definition of value – the profitability of the endeavour. We’re effectively trained to think this way, folks. We’re accustomed to looking to a leader (boss, manager) to tell us what is a valuable use of our time, and what is not. What the leader values is your contribution of time and energy to their cause (and in the context of career, their cause is profit-driven). 

In creativity, we are our own leaders, and we have to decide what is valuable to us. (Hint: It does not need to be monetary – we already have our jobs for that!)

So when we’re reconnecting with our creativity, and trying to be our own leaders, we find ourselves in creative ambiguity. Now we have a freedom that we aren’t used to having, and we start looking outside ourselves for hints. This is where tutorials and Pinterest end up being super tempting. And if you’re there getting inspired, go for it! 

But don’t feel that you must execute to perfection – the tutorial makers will not be grading you. 

You must also get curious, because nobody is going to tell you where to turn next. You have to decide how your own creative path will unfold.

And more than anything, you must enjoy the process. Part of that is simply discovering that there’s great value in the creative work that you do.

Sure, the value can be indirectly monetary. If it helps you feel grounded, inspired, energized, and balanced, that will certainly support your performance at work! But there’s also value in self-discovery, in genuine self-expression, and in finding meaning in what you do. Life is meant to be lived, after all!

Parting Words

I totally reworked this post after I originally wrote it a year and a half ago, but I did want to save the following snippet:

That simple act [of putting paint on paper] was the start of a new creative journey. I imagine much of that journey will comprise the content of this blog! As I write this post, I’m now on my second maternity leave (if I can manage to hit “publish” before it ends, darn perfectionism). Even with the attention-stretching jump from one kiddo to two, I’m making the time to follow my curiosity and embrace a more creative life, little bits at a time.

Still stressed? Still anxious? Sure – having a young family will do that, and breaking old habits like overthinking and overworking is hard! But now I feel like I can show up to all these other important areas of life more authentically and with presence, no longer a reactive fart in the wind.

Upon re-write, I’m still painting, and I have a few other hobbies that I love and continue to maintain, not the least of which is writing this blog. 

When I first wrote this post, I was hoping that maintaining the blog would support my theory that a creative practice can help you feel more grounded, even with a demanding professional life. Now I can confidently say that it can. Maintaining a dedicated creative practice really has helped me curb overworking by reprioritizing and rebalancing my life, and I feel so much better for it!

How about you? If you are here my friend, you’re already doing great! Now it’s time to take action. Do something creative. Anything! Bonus points if it’s something you loved to do as a kid. Extra bonus points if it’s something you’ve always secretly wanted to try as an adult.

Take this as the first step on your creative journey.

Until next time!